These are small, personal resolutions. There is nothing here about changing the world, at least immediately. But though they are small, I know they are vital for the sake of increasing my devotion and that will transform my life as husband, father, and shepherd.
- Less fiddling.
To “fiddle” is to touch or fidget with something in a restless or nervous way. Or perhaps a more appropriate for my resolution is, “to tinker with something in an attempt to make minor adjustments or improvements.” Of course, when you fiddle around with something you “pass the time aimlessly, without doing or achieving anything of substance.”
I have spent way too much time fiddling with website and blog templates, with my GTD system (ironically), and in general rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic. My fiddling is a product of laziness sprinkled with selfishness which requires repentance and getting to work. Fixing is fine, but fiddling is not profitable. Fiddling keeps my mind stuck on little, fleeting things and my heart chilly.
- More (hand)writing.
There are two elements of this resolution, first that I need to write more and second that much of that writing should be done by hand.
About the handwriting part: my handwriting is ugly and I don’t really like doing it. I much prefer digital to analog (as in analog clocks have hands instead of digital clocks that show the numbers) when it comes to recording my thoughts. Not only do I dislike my handwriting, my Mac is very pretty. But perhaps it is too pretty with too much multi-functional-feature goodness and therefore too distracting. I know, how can I blame Apple for anything? So you’re right, the problem is not with my PowerBook. The problem is user error.
My mental concentration is apparently weak; I am too easily distracted. I lose focus and can easily fritter minutes away on non-important stuff. Having access to the Internet and music and email with only a few keystrokes may be keeping me from staying on task.
I’ve had appreciable success the past two snow retreats letting the first draft of my sermons flow out onto yellow pads. Yellow pads are modest tools, good for just a few things unlike my Mac. There are no “high-speed connections” for a yellow pad; they do not interrupt me with announcements of new emails or updated blog posts; audio output is unavailable, etc. Even though the blank page can be intimidating, I’d rather be intimidated for a time from doing something substantial than forever tempted to fiddle. Perhaps when my discipline is more disciplined I’ll give the first draft task back to my Mac, but for a while I intend to write more things out by hand.
And the writing part is no less important. I’ve recently concluded that I write not because I’m good at it, but because I need to be good at it. Writing, whether sermon notes or blog posts or just personal thoughts, clarifies and directs my mind. The sin is again perhaps idle wastefulness, a failing to redeem the time when I should be writing away from the path of least mental resistance and toward feverish devotion.
- More (offline) reading.
That is, I want to read more books and less blogs. I want more from the heavy-weights and less of the void. A recent quote in Christianity Today noted:
“The blogosphere is the friend of information but the enemy of thought.”
I don’t really need to be “up” on the newest posts. My affections are not flamed from the black hole that is most blogs. Instead I want to think and drink deep! I want deep rooted devotion that comes by wrestling with dead guys as they wrestled with the Book.
My repentance is from impatience and discontentment. Really, what did I do before the email bell tolled every minute? How did I get along without instant communication and without new things every day? I need more old-school faith.
- More (out-loud) praying.
Again there are two parts of this, the praying part and the out-loud part.
The sin is worldliness, being anxious by things of this world and depending on things of this world. Actually the lack of praying is the sin of arrogance/pride in thinking I can do it. Failing to pray is its own sin, as every believer is called to pray without ceasing. Overall it is a sin of unbelief. My lack of prayer demands my repentance.
The out-loud element is to keep my weak mind from wandering so much. Similar to the success I’ve seen in handwriting concentration, so the extra effort of audible praying in private seems to straighten aimless praying. The prayer-walk is also not to be undervalued for a distraction-less environment, though in combination with moving lips can be viewed by passerbys with suspicion.
- Be (radically) thankful.
I’m a different person when I’m thankful. When I’m not thankful that means I’m not happy in my submission to God’s control, I’m not trusting in His promises, and I’m not obedient to His command to give thanks in all things. There is absolutely no reason for me to be ungrateful but I find this sin too often.
In 2007 I want to be radically thankful. I want to be thankful for things that no one would be thankful for in their right mind, except if that mind was controlled by the Spirit and full of faith. In particular I want an overflow of appreciation for Christ and the cross to spill onto my perspective on every possible circumstance, be it traffic, early mornings, crying babies, sickness, stupid people, and slow progress.
So may I be more like Christ next year at this time by fiddling less, handwriting and reading and praying more, and being radically thankful to Christ.
Why has no one commented on this? Does no one care about your resolutions? I care dang it! We ALL should work on those same resolutions: better self-control (in all things), working out our thoughts (purposefully), A LOT MORE prayer, and gratitude (I mean HELLO! who doesn’t need to pray more and be more thankful?). Sean as I said yesterday, your transparency and desire for godliness has been a great blessing and encouragement to me (and many others).
That is kind of funny. Thanks, AB, for “caring” and for your (overly optimistic) appreciation.